I was blessed to be working in a department for 3 years. Two years at one level of secretary, 1 year at the next level. When I went into the second level, my new boss was someone in the department who many people always talked about negatively. He'd gone through 3 secretaries before I came. Yet, he and I always got along. I laughed at his dry jokes, and he always had a decent conversation.
Our journey began and as I got into about the 6th month of working for him things really began to change. By month seven I did not like him at all. Coming to work was an issue. I lost interest and became detached. It got to a point where I felt that he was doing things as to either get me written up or terminated. I felt that it was time to go, rather than deal with the anger I would feel if he got the opportunity to terminate me. With no place else for me to advance to in my department I started looking and quickly found another job. As my two weeks notice drew closer to a close, he was really nasty. He even went so far as to lock me out of my computer! I was at the point to where I didn't even want to talk to him unless I had to.
I moved on to my new job, but we still had to occasionally cross paths. He would see me in the halls and attempt to speak to me, but little did he know, I had cut him all the way off! I wouldn't speak to him at all. If he said hello to me and was in a crowd of people that we both knew, I would speak to everyone except him! Even if he and I were alone on the same elevator, I would not speak to him even if he spoke to me. I was hurt and angry at him because I felt he had been so very unfair to me. After all the times we'd laughed and joked and gotten along, if I was doing something wrong how dare he not tell me or at least make me aware where the problems lie. For him to change on me was just wrong and I refused to forgive him for that.
It took 1 1/2 - 2 years for me to change the way I felt about forgiveness and to God be the glory. I attend a wonderful church. My pastor and his wife are wonderful people, the messages and teachings I receive from them have helped me weather many, many, storms when things get to heavy for me. We did a bible study on forgiveness. That bible study changed me and the way I think. I was selfish and had thought only of myself. You see, I'd never thought about the fact that sometimes people are going through or have gone through "stuff" that you are not aware of. "Stuff" can make people react in different ways, at different times, with different people.
What I learned is that we all have seasons that we are going through. And it was my season to learn forgiveness. As we finished the bible study, I began to think about who ever I may have had a problem with. Why I had the problem with them. And What I needed to do to change that. Through prayer and the Word of God, I was able to eventually put those 1 1/2 - 2 years of unforgiveness behind me. I started speaking to him whenever we saw each other. I would talk to him and laugh with him just like I use to. I came to work one day, selling passes for a MACY's shopping spree. While, talking to another coworker about the passes, he walked up and said, "Hi, what do you have there?" I explained what they where and what the purpose was for selling them (that being for my church's family center that is in progress) and he bought a pass from me for his wife!
I know in my heart that, that small blessing came from the Lord. And that spirit of unforgiveness that I held onto for so long, had gone. I could feel the freedom. I will end my story with this: A peaceful mind will aid your spirit. God is a forgiving God. If we want to be forgiven by others, then we MUST forgive those who have hurt you or done you an injustice. The Holy Spirit that lives in all of us is the inner voice that tells us what we need to do or say when we are hearing from God. To carry a spirit of unforgiveness is a burden. It is weight on your heart, while the person(s) you're upset with isn't losing a wink of sleep! You are the weight carrier for not letting go. Refuse to entertain old pain. Release the hurt. In order to be free we must learn how to let go. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. God has blessed me so abundantly for finding forgiveness in my heart. It's not enough for your mouth to say, "I forgive you." It MUST come from your heart. It is the way to true FREEDOM and peace of mind. What is it you would let go of today?