The Power of Forgiveness

Anonymous 4

My story is quite simple. I loved a man. He was just a boy when I fell in love with him. We dated for 3 years and when it came to the time when marriage was in the offing, he reneged and went off to sow his wild oats. He married one of those wild oats and then after 6 months, it ended in divorce. That was the first time I forgave him. I met with him again, after he became divorced, and it was like we had never been apart. He had no children. But, he would not sacrifice anything for me. He refused to change his job, (since he worked where his ex-wife worked.) He refused to change his car (since it was a small sports car that drew attention to him wherever he went.) Lastly, he refused to relocate and begin a new life, with ME. I just wanted to start fresh. I wanted us to make new friends and get a second chance. But, it didn't happen and after awhile he met another woman and she became pregnant, so he did the right thing and married her. I was crushed again. This just didn't happen twice.

We were apart for the second time. Then I met someone. I married him without reservation. I think it was because I was so hurt by the past, and I didn't want to go through anymore hurt. We did not see each other for about 3 years, but when we had a by chance meeting, I realized that I had never stopped loving him. Our situations made it so that we could not resume the relationship. He had a child and I had two. Our children grew and we kept in touch, verbally. His child was 17 and he found out his wife was pregnant again. I was headed for divorce. My marriage had failed because of selfishness on both our parts. I found the church again, after my divorce. I decided to forgive my past love for all the disappointment and all the unforeseen circumstances that he put in the way of our happiness.

Now, I am a single woman who has dated many men, but not ever considered permanence with ANY. My past love still calls me. His wife has cancer, and he always needs to talk. I grant him that privilege readily because I love him and I would never not want him to feel that closeness with ME. It feels good to forgive him. It feels great to not expect anything from him. I have finally found inner peace, because of my church and the influence it has had on me as a person.